Once upon a time, when I was a desk job mouse (or more like a chunky computer hamster), I made a list of 21 reasons why FOOD is better than SEX.
This was well before I started my career in the fitness industry in 2011. So do not judge me for a remake of a list I made when I was a different version of myself. In fact, this blog is a judgment free zone! HAHA, so feel free to think, feel and read about me and my Demons with the promise that you do not think this defines me, nor YOU for enjoying this post, for that matter.
Pinky promise! *wink *wink 😉
Today I have decided to travel back in time and remember why I made that list and why —Oh, why?! I love food so very much!
I used to think GLUTTONY was my deadly sin. Perhaps at that time in my life it was. But now I am starting to think my thing is LUST.
See if we take the movie Se7en (1995), starring Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman as a frame of reference:
I have to agree that gluttony has a more profound association with an inability to stop putting food in one’s mouth and keeping it inside, rather than a troubling and passionate relationship with it.
So, when it comes to my relationship with food it gravitates around the theme of seeking pleasure, and in such manner I will find ways to play, plan and measure my way into getting as much of it as I can.
I am aware that the deadly sin of lust is centred around the theme of sex. But what is behind sex if not the ravenous and insatiable desire for pleasure.
I am not trying to reinvent the wheel here, but rather arrive at a personal understanding of “WTF is wrong with me,” and why am I so obsessed with food.
And so to cut this preamble short, I have decided that my deadly sin in this life is LUST for FOOD. And so there you have it, the 21 reasons why food is better than sex. I am sure there are more than 21 so I would love to hear what you think.
P.S. I might choose to make an opposing list perhaps some time in the future…but for now let me sweet talk you with my thoughts about food…
The List
1. INSTANT PLEASURE. It is instant pleasure! Does not require a build-up nor a warmup, just pop that chocolate in your mouth and presto! It takes one second to experience orgasmic bliss.
2.CONSTANT PLEASURE. It is constant and heightened pleasure from beginning to end, and you are in full control of the speed, amount and duration of the experience. There is no danger of “finishing too soon,” perhaps only of having too much.
3. (This point is 3 in 1) HAVE IT WITH ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. You can do it with anyone, anywhere, and anytime you want. In fact with as many people as you want too. At home while watching Netflix, at the beach on a Sunday morning, in the gym in between sets, at the office with your boss, in the airplane on a redeye, etc, etc. No one will get upset at you for doing it with others either.
And you will never, ever be wronged for it.
6. BY/WITH YOURSELF. You do not need to have anyone, or wait for anyone to enjoy it as you can have it by/with yourself as well.
7. INFINITE VARIETY. The potential for variety within the experience is exponentially off the charts. Smell, texture, temperature, flavour variety (sweet, sour, hot, tangy, salty, spicy, smoky, bitter, etc, etc), architecture, colour, solid, liquid, fluffy and cloud like; all provide an infinite number of combinations for you to have mind blowing experiences.
8. BETTER WHEN DONE BY OTHERS. Most of the times you can count on it being a outstanding experience when provided by another person. So anytime it is offered, be certain you can hand over control to another person and expect an utmost pleasurable experience. So sit back and enjoy the ride.
9. MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. Have it anywhere from 1 to 6+ times! There is no danger of getting “too tired for it”. Just after it if you overdo it.
10. You can instantly satiate your hunger, as ways to ease that pain are accessible pretty much everywhere and anywhere from “no cost” when you have it at home, to a very accessible price range, to an exorbitantly ludicrous amount. Your choice to make at any given time.
11. LITTLE TO NO DISAPPOINTMENT THAT COMES WITH A GUARANTEE: 99% of the times you will get what you saw in the picture of the menu, and if you don’t you can always complain to the manager and get exactly what you asked for.
12. You can save some for later and continue enjoying right where you left. In fact you can enjoy the exact same delicious experience for at least a couple times more.
13. You often get more than what you expected!
14. You can “taste the love” in it.
15. It does not require you to talk while enjoying it, but you can also talk while you enjoy it if you want to.
16. You will always be appreciated and thanked for when you offer to share it.
17. It is socially accepted to receive money in exchange for it.
18. If you do it good, you will gain the respect, approval and long term admiration of those around you. And you will be publicly praised and recognized for it.
19. You can count on it being available and easily accessible at most social events, from concerts, to movie theatres, to sports, to galas… you name it! It is always nice to pair it with other of your most preferred activities.
20. You can use your hands if you have no utensils, or why not just go straight for it into your mouth. But you can also use a variety of fun utensils and make it as kinky as you want.
21. You can play with it…but if you don’t like it you can say NO and no one will get upset at you for doing YOU.
Food for Thought
So there it is. And now to leave you with some food for thought, check out the following questions (as proposed by my 7 Daemons who sit by my side drinking coffee with me):
B. Would the closest 5 people to you agree on this, yes/no and why or what would they say about you?
D. Do you wrong yourself for it or have you learned to harness its power?
E. What does it mean to you to think of being able to harness the power of your personal deadly sin? How does this make you unique or different than other people?
And as always,
With dark musings infused with silver linings,
Addicted to food and word porn,
Truly yours,
Alejandra
